this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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