I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
