Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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