I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
