I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
