Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
