we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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