so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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