So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
