Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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