Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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