Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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