Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
