i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize