He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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