that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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