I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize