How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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