Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
