Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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