i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
