Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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