but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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