I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We are all done wearing pants today
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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