i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
