You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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