If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
