Me too!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
