you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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