you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
