You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
