We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
