She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We have started to decorate penises.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
