So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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