It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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