Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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