Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
