Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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