You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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