So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
