just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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