i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
