do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
