Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
