I am puke
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize