After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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