I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
