I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
