I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
