Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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