she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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