i would punch a child for taco bell
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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