After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
