she smelled like a LAN party
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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