so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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