just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
