Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
