Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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