In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
