Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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