3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
