She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
