He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
