You can't special order awesome
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
