She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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