good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
