There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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