He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize