soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
