i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
