I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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