It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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